Friday Fiascos #6: Didn’t come here to look for trouble.

Like any Mavericks fan, I was tremendously relieved after the Mavs won on Wednesday to even the series with Golden State. In fact, I was probably more relieved than anyone else, because I’ve been sitting on this for a little while.

I’m not very superstitious in general, but I’m a little sports superstitious, and I didn’t want to put up a post about the Mavericks’ march to playoff victory before they’d actually, y’know, gotten a playoff victory.

Anyway, I’m all-encompassingly a homer, but I think the Mavs are the best team in the NBA. (If I hailed from Phoenix or San Antonio, I’d be saying the same thing about different colored laundry right now.) They have solid defense, good penetration, reliable outside shooting, and a lot of depth. All they’ve lacked… is a fight song.

This is to the tune of Ernest Longstaffe’s “When the Sergeant-Major’s on Parade.” To the tune of the chorus, actually, as the verse is kinda blah.

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As ever, apologies to anyone who’s got good enough pitch recognition to wince at my terrible vocals.

Transcript and lyrics follow.

When the Jet's
Getting set
  To take flight,
And when Stack
Gets on track,
  Things look bright.
And a shot block by Dampier
Will let the world know the Mavs are here.
And when Dirk
Gets to work
With his fade,
Any shot
From any spot
Gets made,
And with Harris and Howard,
Coach Avery gets showered
With buckets full of Gatorade.

[SPOKEN: Okay, so they don't really do that in basketball. Still, you know, anyway.]

All the teams
  That we meet
    Say we're great,
Though it seems
  We can't beat
    Golden State.
But the Mavs will get that ring,
So face it Kobe, that's just our thing.
Tell the rest
Of the West
To be afraid,
Bring the stretch-
Er to fetch
D-Wade.
And Tim Duncan and 'Sheed
May get ticked off and T'd,
But our mayor's planning our parade.

And when Anthony Johnson --
[SPOKEN: They what!?
You're kidding me!
Um, okay, who else is on the roster?]
Devean George and Cro' are vital,
They'll help to lead us to win the title.
[SPOKEN: Even I don't buy that.
Okay, what rhymes with Mensah-Bonsu?]
We've never lost* in games where Maurice Ager's played.
[SPOKEN: Buckner, Buckner, bo-Buckner,
Banana-fanna-fo --]
The Dallas Mavericks on parade!

* may not be true